33-year-old man dates woman in 80s

A 33-YEAR-OLD gold panner is reportedly head over heels in love with an octogenarian, has sent tongues wagging in Makaha communal lands as he brags to have found Miss Right. The two lovebirds are reportedly planning a wedding although fellow gold-panners believe the new lovers are incompatible considering their age difference.

Madzonzoni Makwengura is said to have clashed with his relatives after he opted to marry an elderly woman believed to be in her early 80s. “It’s true that Madzonzoni is in love with a woman now in her early 80s,” informed a fellow gold-panner who refused to be named for fear of victimisation.

“Her name is Rosa and she stays in Makaha where they are doing their gold panning business. We suspect that he might have been smitten because he must have been whipped (kudyiswa) by this woman because we have never seen an affair such as this in our community.” The source added: “We have tried to talk to him but he seems to be love-struck as he never listens to us.”

“Maybe you people from the Press can talk to him and hear his side of the story.” “What really concerns us is that he was single all along and we felt he would find a better wife and look after his mother. It seems Madzonzoni’s family is cursed because his brother who is now in his early 40s is also single and also dating an elderly woman.”

“People might say age is just a number but in this case I think this man is insane. He also abuses alcohol and I don’t think he made this decision out of his choice.” When H-Metro caught up with Madzonzoni at his homestead, he confirmed the affair. “Yes, I am in love with her. We have been dating for sometime. My relatives and fellow gold panners know her,” said the pint-sized gold panner who was drinking the illicit brew called ZED at his homestead.

He seemed relaxed and nonchalant! Asked about their plans, Madzonzoni said: “We are simply in love. We don’t want to go public about this affair.” “By the way, why do you need this information for? Are you police officers because I don’t understand you? Why would the Press ask such sharp questions?”
“Please introduce yourself because I don’t want to entertain strangers.”

Madzonzoni later shifted goal-posts when he realised that he was indeed speaking to journalists which he had doubted all along. “So you have come all the way form Harare to write that story? What are you going to do if I now tell you that all I said is false and I retract my confession?” asked a visibly annoyed Madzonzoni. He added: “You can go ahead and write that story. I think you got what you wanted from the sources. They know everything.”

“People should leave me for once. I don’t want to be humiliated. People here call me a drunkard and I think I have had enough of them as they want to destroy my marriage.” However, H-Metro could not hook up with Rosa as she was said to be attending a funeral in Nyamande. “You could have talked to her and get her side of story if she was around,” said Madzonzoni referring to his sweetheart.

“She is away in Nyamande where she is attending a funeral after she lost a close relative.” “I still don’t know why you are interested in this story because there is nothing wrong with the choice I made. I don’t think I am the first to marry or date a woman who is way older than me,” said a visibly emotional Madzonzoni.

When H-Metro left Makaha communal lands, Madzonzoni’s affair was the talk of the thickets with many calling him all sorts of names. Others were convinced that Madzonzoni had been besotted since Rosa was also suspected to be a sangoma supplying love charms in and around the community. Traditionalists who spoke to H-Metro however said it was perfectly possible for a young man to be besotted should he have a consensual sexual relationship with an old woman as they were sexually ‘gratifying’.

“When a woman gets older and older nyama dzake dzinodzoka kunge dzemhandara hudzimai hwake hwosunga kunge mhandara saka vakasangana pabonde wakwegura uyu anotozipa kudarika vana vechidiki vemazuva ano vane nyama dzakaregedzeka. Varume vanoda kupinda pakamanikana,” said a sex guru and traditional medicine elder H-Metro spoke to.

(When a woman gets older her private parts become tighter like those of a virgin and often she will be tighter than these modern day wenches whose bodies are spent. Men enjoy sex in tight spots so once one gets a taste of an older and tighter woman, they never go back and are easily smitten in their new love).

There was more: “Older women also know how to ‘treat’ a man in the sexual arena and do more sexually to hold onto their toy-boys hence they even use some herbs that reduce the size of their vaginal canal restricting the man’s ‘one eyed monster’ in what is most probably able to be termed revenge to the boa constrictor,” our sex expert added.

Source-H-Metro